Making ambitious New Year’s Resolutions (and promptly breaking them) is a bit of a tradition. What can be a meaningful exercise in self-improvement all too often turns into a farce, a series of guilty failures or a self-fulfilling prophecy where we know we won’t succeed so we never even try.
There’s nothing wrong with adults making sensible resolutions if they want to. Let’s just get that straight. In theory it’s a good idea to make lifestyle changes and gather support from those around us by publicly declaring our intentions. The problem comes when we over-reach ourselves. Then we’re sending out a message about the whole process to the most vulnerable around us: children.
If a child sees adults saying one thing and promptly doing another, or giving up at the first hurdle, that undermines both the credibility of the adult and the meaning attached to making a declaration. Worse is when children make resolutions alongside their parents or carers and are then castigated for breaking them while the adult gets off scot-free. Most children don’t have the capacity to understand the social ritual surrounding resolutions, or the cynicism which afflicts most adults!
The tradition of making resolutions is deeply ingrained in many of us, in some cases the same resolution is too, but this year take a moment to think about how your resolutions affect those around you and what the real consequences of giving up are. Here are our top 3 tips for managing your resolutions in a child-friendly way.
1. Keep your charges out of it
Children shouldn’t be encouraged to make resolutions, especially not the kind around exercise or healthy eating, and you shouldn’t make resolutions which centre on their behaviour. Instead try to incorporate target behaviours on a daily basis without making a big fuss – don’t announce it’s their/your resolution to eat a piece of fruit after dinner, just offer it to them systematically.
2. Keep calm if you fall off the wagon
If you accidentally eat a biscuit instead of a rice cake one day, it’s not the end of the world. You might feel like crying or beating yourself up but don’t mention that to your charges. If they’re the ones who point it out to you, tell them you promise to try harder in future. On no account should you tell them you’ve broken the resolution so you may as well have another biscuit or six!
3. Admit it if you get it wrong
While it’s probably better never to mention what your resolutions are, little pitchers have big ears. If you do decide to stop even trying to keep your resolution and your charges know about it then face up to the fact you were too ambitious and turn it into a valuable lesson for them about knowing your limits and setting realistic goals.
Good luck and Happy New Year!
bapn 